Being a single mom I find it hard to find time to go out and do things for me. I am always worried about my son, yet I rarely take time to do things for myself. I then find my self at work on the edge of tears because my anxiety is so bad. With a little extra effort of self-love to myself is what I have learned is the key to success.
1. Forget Mommy Guilt
Some of my single friends do not understand this at all (they will one day). Mommy guilt is when you take time for yourself away from your family to go hang out with them, but feel bad because you left your child. Let me just tell you that mommy guilt is the worst and I have been there done that. In order to be the best mom you have to take the time for yourself. You need to get out and do something for you, because at the end of the day you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else (yes that includes your children!).
2. Start with something easy
For me this was hard because I work until 6 Monday thru Friday, plus I work 14 hours on the weekend at a restaurant and I do soccer lessons with other kids in between everything. The time that I spend with my son is very limited I wanted to make the most out of the time we spend together.
I started with soccer once a night. Something my son would come with me, other times he stayed at home depending on the game time. I now play on 5 different times and my son comes with me to most of them, unless the games are past his bed time.
Now I have progressed to once a month I go to the salon to get my nails done. I do not feel bad because after the hour or so it took I feel renewed. I no longer have the urge to scream at anyone who talks to me. For you find something small that you love. Go to Starbucks, instead of getting your drink Tog, bring a book and read a chapter. Go for a walk around the block. Do something that you love to do and build on that.
3.Put Self-Care on the Calendar
This is one that worked well for me. I have very little time to think sometimes let alone remember of yeah I need to go to go to the nail salon. Not only does it help you remember to do it, this helps you keep yourself accountable. By putting something on the calendar then cancelling, you are cancelling on yourself. If you cancel on yourself you are saying,”you are not worth the time to go for one hour to help yourself feel better.”
4. Drink Lots of Water
As silly as this sounds it is the truth. Drinking water all day everyday will help your body. Do not get me wrong I love my cokes to give me a little pick up in the morning. By 3 o’clock I am ready for a nap. On the mornings when I drink water only I have so much more energy throughout the day.
Keep track of how much water you drink daily. Everyday try to drink one more glass than the day before. This helps you drink more and more water everyday. Eventually you will be drinking half your body weight in water every day.
5. Take Yourself Away From The Phone
I have recently started this one. It started when I did a month detox form social media. When I come home from my weekday job my phone goes on the counter until my son goes to bed. This way I can focus on him for the little time we have together, then after ward I can relax and catch up with my friends. I find this to me more beneficial to me than trying to worry about what everyone is doing after work, plus trying to get everything done with my son.
6. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
If you spend all day everyday with your children you just might go insane. Call a friend you have not seen in a while. Tell that lady at the grocery store her dress is beautiful. Pay for the person behind you at Starbucks, and leave a note to give to them. Send positive vibes into the world, so the world can send positive vibes back to you.
7. Positive Attitude Goes a Long Way
My favorite book I bought on accident The Magic by Rhonda Byrne (https://amzn.to/2Wcfe7n). Takes you on a 28 day journey that teaches you how to apply the law of attraction into your life. The big take away, being positive is key to a happy successful life. Stop feeling bad about your life and start being thankful for everything you have.
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While I am a single mom, self love is for everyone. I have talked about being in your 20’s are key for your development, self love is for you. Women who are have an empty nest, self love is for you. If you are reading this post, no matter who you are what your circumstance is, self love is for you!
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